kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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