So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize