when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
