Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's like heaven, but drunker
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
