ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
