I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
