we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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