if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize