I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
