You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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