I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
