lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Porn is love you can see.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
