is your mom at the bar?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
