I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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