Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  And I thought

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Fuck I do that shit every weekend

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  (586): I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself' (586): And I thought (586): Fuck I do that shit every weekend http://tfl.nu/q5n0
  Replies (1) Good night (1014) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (834) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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  (843): The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson. http://tfl.nu/6x6n
  Replies (22) Good night (1641) Bad night (5564)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.

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  (714): Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare. http://tfl.nu/ceys
  Replies (19) Good night (1321) Bad night (6141)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".

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  (208): She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs". http://tfl.nu/ppqp
  Replies (23) Good night (8826) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (2921) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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  (860): Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now. http://tfl.nu/0rnz
  Replies (4) Good night (2700) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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  (337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc
  Replies (17) Good night (2318) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival

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  (303): im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival http://tfl.nu/aw8e
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.

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  (205): You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food. http://tfl.nu/oef6
  Replies (11) Good night (979) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My vag hurts but I feel vindicated

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  That is an interesting emotion combo

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  (609): My vag hurts but I feel vindicated (832): That is an interesting emotion combo http://tfl.nu/j6ty
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually

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  (408): This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually http://tfl.nu/dqmb
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*

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  (306): just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm* http://tfl.nu/auxk
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.

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  (804): The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out. http://tfl.nu/4grr
  Replies (5) Good night (343) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years

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  (256): She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years http://tfl.nu/rsfn
  Replies (4) Good night (310) Bad night (392)

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