What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award