Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.

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  (412): The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN. http://tfl.nu/72t6
  Replies (32) Good night (1084) Bad night (3554)
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  (619): View more from California

  you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

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  (619): you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top http://tfl.nu/edw1
  Replies (18) Good night (1068) Bad night (3047)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry

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  (612): if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry http://tfl.nu/j4wi
  Replies (20) Good night (696) Bad night (2925)
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  (209): View more from California

  His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.

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  (209): His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it. http://tfl.nu/5398
  Replies (19) Good night (6556) Bad night (820)
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  (714): View more from California

  Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.

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  (714): Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare. http://tfl.nu/ceys
  Replies (19) Good night (1523) Bad night (6321)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd

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  (301): I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd http://tfl.nu/xdaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1085) Bad night (3648)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are

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  (717): we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are http://tfl.nu/vwno
  Replies (22) Good night (7357) Bad night (1218)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2434) Bad night (1255)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.

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  (616): Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine. http://tfl.nu/pixd
  Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (2360)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.

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  (360): You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part. http://tfl.nu/6s9f
  Replies (7) Good night (2514) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.

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  (267): I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/m0z8
  Replies (10) Good night (1212) Bad night (594)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're kidding right?

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  (416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n
  Replies (9) Good night (2873) Bad night (693)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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  (812): Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there http://tfl.nu/jzmv
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (765)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.

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  (713): That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes. http://tfl.nu/7uvj
  Replies (10) Good night (1526) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So all in all, a good night.

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  (717): You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young. (1-717): So all in all, a good night. http://tfl.nu/c215
  Replies (0) Good night (1509) Bad night (570)

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