I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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