i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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