We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
