Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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