Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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