I'm pants shitting drunk right now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize