so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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