super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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