with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish I only lived at night.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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