So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
