I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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