I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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