do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
