at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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