This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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