mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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