so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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