i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
