I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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