That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
