She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
