I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
