About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
