i already hear my dad disowning me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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