So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
