If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
