Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
