don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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