Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
