those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My dick has a subreddit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
