I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
