make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
