she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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