why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
