Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
