im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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