your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
