I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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