he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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