fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
