I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize