Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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