How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
