ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
