if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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