i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
