Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
