Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
