i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
