Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
